A Step of Faith

It's happening. Our family will be expanding from three to four in April 2018.

Are we excited? More and more with each passing day.

Were we always this excited? Not exactly.

If you know me or if you've read some of my blog posts before, you may have surmised that the decision to go from one to two children was not an easy one.

Don't get me wrong. As soon as Sofia began to wean, walk, and talk, I started eying my friends tiny infants who still snuggled in their parents' arms and stayed in one place. Baby fever miraculously reentered my heart as I got a greater handle on parenting basics and felt a lessening of some of the burdens of caring for a small infant.

But then, I remembered it all. The nights where two hours of uninterrupted sleep was the norm, the early and painful journey of breastfeeding, and the sacrifice of my just normalized body back to a baby carrier. Then there were the financial costs of bringing another child into the world, think hospital bills, doctor visits, more diapers, a bigger place to live. The thought of these made my fever quickly cool.

And yet, I could not shake this thought from my mind.

"Behold children are a blessing from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." Psalm 127:3

It repeated itself over and over again.

Then there was this too:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear..." 2 Timothy 1:7

Was that really how I was going to live my life? Being afraid of the future? Afraid that what is called a blessing is only a burden? Afraid that the One who supplies all my needs would neglect to do so in this situation?

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Many times that is how I live. But this time, this time would be different.

We took a step of faith, timid though it was, and opened our hands in surrender to receive the blessing of another child if God would so desire.

And so He did.