Refueling

Most of the time, my days are ordinary, consisting of the same routine: wake, play, eat, and sleep. Sometimes I find myself motivated enough to clean all my spaces, complete a few loads of laundry, and then cook a complete meal. However, many days I find myself unmotivated by the mundane tasks and discouraged by the grayness of my daily routine. On those days I struggle to complete what appear to be very simple tasks and only able to carry out the very basics required of me, namely of feeding and caring for my child. But, when the opportunity arises to take a break from the mundane by embarking on a small adventure, I seize it in hopes of adding a bit of color to my sometimes colorless life.

On Saturday, my little family diverged from our normal daily routine and spent the morning hiking around Auburn, CA. The fresh air, vibrant green grass, and exposed rocks made for a beautiful and reinvigorating experience for each one of my senses.  My creativity tank gradually rose with renewed hope and excitement with each inhale of the forest air. Throughout the hike, I stopped often to examine a small wildflower, gaze at the green mountains, and wave at my infant daughter happily strapped to her daddy as they walked ahead of me. It was in these moments, alongside the two people I love most in the world, that my seeming black and white vision was restored to technicolor. 

As I walked, an overwhelming sense of gratitude filled my heart. I could not help but thank the Creator of the world for allowing me to experience His creation in this manner and to be reinvigorated by simply being in it. It was as though my heart and mind were being renewed just by experiencing His goodness. It was then that I realized, the gray days can be filled with color if I stop and examine the beauty of my life (i.e. a beautiful healthy child, a loving husband, the privilege of staying home and raising my child, or even the privilege of having a washer and dryer in my home). These things I often take for granted and forget that they are not a guarantee nor a right. I have every reason to live a colorful, joyful existence, should I choose to open my eyes to it. 

So today, now a few days since that experience, though I am tempted to return to seeing my life as only a colorless existence, I am choosing to live with joy and gratitude for all the beauty that exists therein.