Goodbyes and New Beginnings: Une nouvelle aventure en France

I’ve left my home again. And not just to go back to Wheaton. I’ve left the country. I’ve left my language, my culture, my family, and my best friend. I’ve left all that I’ve known for an unknown place, a place that will soon become my home away from home. Leading up to my departure, I felt every sort of apprehension possible, but somehow I kept going forward. Perhaps what drove me to go through with it was that childhood/adolescent dream that longed for a time in which I lived in France, sipping café au lait in a corner café, conversing in French, walking through the cobblestone streets, and living a European lifestyle, at least just for a little while. This desire was so strong that it was once the major motivating force for attending college as I knew that there would be many opportunities for studying abroad; after all, its much easier to live in Europe as a student. And now here I am, in Aix-en-Provence, France, living out my dream.

But dreams rarely ever correspond to reality.

When I first had that dream to live in Europe, I didn’t know just who I would be leaving behind. I didn’t know that I would have developed deep friendships with people in college or that the consequences of leaving for a semester would not just mean saying “see you when I get back” but simply, “goodbye”.  I didn’t know that it would mean saying goodbye to a dear family that has become like my own. I didn’t know how difficult it would be to say goodbye to my own family at home. But most of all, I had no idea how incredibly difficult it would be to say goodbye to my dear, best friend and boyfriend. I didn’t know that I would have someone who means so much to me nor someone whom I love so deeply. 

But the truth is, my life never goes as planned. 

And its okay.

Because I know that right now, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. In my discomfort, longing, and uncertainty, I am being molded, shaped, used, and taught for some greater purpose than fulfilling the desires found within my own little world. For some reason I’ve always had the desire to travel. For some reason I had to say goodbye for a while. For some reason I have been called here to live and study. There is purpose in even what seems purposeless. 

So I shall keep living in this new place with all its uncertainties because I am called to do so, and not in my own strength, but rather in the strength of the One who has called me.

It’s time to begin a new chapter of life.